Things Fall Apart

by Martial

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emma gonia-hannan rock on, dude Favorite track: The Middle Way.
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about

Album made to be heard in full.

credits

released January 22, 2015

Written, performed and recorded by Nicholas Starrantino
Mastered by Patrick Scherer
Artwork by Alexandra Galiardo and Jimmy Foti

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all rights reserved

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Martial New York

written, recorded, performed by Nicholas Starrantino

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@nicholasfstarr

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Track Name: 308
It could have been just like you said
It could have been that evil look in my eye

It could have been all that medicine that I took
but I wasn't prescribed

No, I'll never see how it was easy for you to leave me

But if it wasn't so hard
For you to move on
Then maybe
You were never here at all
Track Name: Oh, The Devil has Red Hair, Too
You
I needed someone
To love
What I do

I needed passion
but I got
You
Not till what I needed fled
My interest grew

It was when I couldn't choose
Thats when I settled for you

But I feel like you wanted me
Just so you could say you had something
Do people like you ever need
Or just go on forever wanting?

Cause her
She's what I always needed
She's my dream it's so pure
Those very same feelings pushed
Towards you were for her
One day I saw that
She wouldn't return

Which was why we never worked
I tried to with you replace her

But you did just the same, didn't you?
As every boy since me has seen your room
You're never satisfied cause you're not sure
Just what you want but you want more

Now, I'd give anything yo take back
Giving everything to you
And stop myself from ever mentioning
How I thought you were cute

I was nieve to think
Those comments wouldn't really swell your head
I used to pray 'till death you'd stay
Now I just wish that you were dead
Track Name: The Key of G
Every tune I write
I feel the pen speaking right to you
As if all that once seeping through logic
Cutting right to your soul

Each a new room
Where I can sit and examine you
You’re everything that makes up you
What more could I want

Even more so what else would I need?

You’re the gap I try so hard to fill
When I feel the need to create
As if somehow limiting chords and thoughts will
Together come to emulate
This broadened wide beyond scope view
Of us. Oh, how great

So what’s there to wait for?

Cause in my mind
We’ve been dancing and sharing laughs this whole time
So please, take yours cause I’m just fine
Watching you play out in the field
Run your circles, I’ll be waiting here on the sides

When that moment comes you’ll run to me
When you get a glimpse of what I’m looking at
We can use each other’s company
I’d enjoy you next to me in the grass
As much as we’ll enjoy everything
We’ll embrace how nothing lasts

Just can’t find the words that come close to contain
The way I think and feel about you
But it is a ton so I’ll rearrange
Old words we’ve heard over used
Cause I’ve just never had feelings for anyone
Anything like I do for you

Darling please tell me the truth
How do you make your laugh so damn cute?
It’s killing me just to be around you and not be yours
So the most I can do is hope you find what you’re waiting for
Track Name: The Middle Way
Choose a color
Pick a theme
Things are never what they seem
You can't have yellow without green
Everything is everything
The one light behind shines the scene
And the truth is the joints
That space between two points

But if the world keeps spinning round
Before I get sick, I'm getting down

A boat can’t spend most of it’s ride
Leaned too far to either side
It’s balance comes from left and right
Outer edges sprout inside
The beaming light is blinding bright
And the center stays unknown
Though it’s anywhere you go

Just sit hand in hand
As still as you can

And if the world keeps spinning round
Then where would I find solid ground?
I can be silence and peace
And stop the world spinning beneath me

I just can’t stand life on steady feet
I need the ground pulled out under me
Start my endless free-falling

Listen to you breathe
Be all you can be
Track Name: Time is Now
I’m in love with the sky and the ground
With silence and sound
Solitude or people around me I’ve got

My sights set on the sun
They aim low for no one
This is the most fun I’m thinking that

I have had in years
It feels so nice to feel, again

To think just from sitting here
Each blade’s touch is so real
The world is holding me, coddling
From the tips of my toes to heels

It’s so warm snuggled in space
The hug from the day
Masked in the winds embrace, it carries me dumb

Founded smile on my face
To that nameless place
I can see it radiating oh how

All light feels like home
But darkness feels cool
I guess

It’s when I’m most alone
I feel closest to you
And every other thing or being
Contribute to the whole

That’s all I wanna do

It’s right behind us
Can you feel the shift?
Are you in love with it?
Do you follow the twists?
And go through with the flow of it?

om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum
Track Name: Drop 10 and Punt
I’m so bent on silly things
They bother me
Like how nothing ever seems to go my way
It’s the only thing I think of when I’m lonely

I am trapped in my own skin
And there’s no way out
I feel confined to a life time of perpetual doubt
As I am always told to cease when I open my mouth
Once lifted but as we grew I was let down

Now I stand tall for who I am
Despite your world
I may even try forever to win the girl
Cause I’ll never be alone
Till I’m alone for good

Don’t push it away!
The end’s coming, as bad as it seems
No one plays forever, no
Nothing stays together!

Yeah, the world was feeling fine
The day I found my mind
Thought I lost my head and it never came back
It was like your storm on that sunny, warm afternoon
So calm and composed, there’s no room for control
No matter what I do

And I know this year will be hard cause I’ll be missing you
More than I ever dreamt or wanted to
There’s no need for the chance to say bye
Act like I was never here

You can shake up the waves all you want
But your waters not deep
Track Name: Impossible Shapes
In my mind there’s a beautiful girl
Somewhere out there
Come to find one in the real world
Which my dreams can’t compare
She’s comprised with diamonds for eyes
And flowers in her hair

It’s usually when I would leave
But as of now I wouldn’t dare

She is sight and I am sound
Were a beautiful match
Her vision keeps my feet on the ground
Embedded in fact
She says “it’s nice to keep my mind in the clouds
and my awareness in tact”

It’s usually when I would leave
But I know why I haven’t yet

I come by just to say hello
She’s happy as can be
And it breaks my heart into two
This is the one for me
But I’ve been through all of this before
So I know what she can’t see
She’s gonna be in love with him
Until she just can’t leave

Well fine by me

I smirk and hang my head, begin my retreat
Maybe I'll take 3's
Just one or two more and I won't feel a thing
Track Name: The New Sad
Thinking of you
I never think about your face
It clicks a trigger in my brain
That reminds me
Deathly of the
Life I’ll never lead
The parts of you I’ll never see
I’ve got six minutes till the break of dawn marks
Seven months since you’ve been gone, oh

Moment of clarity
You will never be that innocent girl you were to me
Cause you gave yourself away
He’ll never love
the things I did
About you

So now really, how smart are you?
You make decisions of which include
No promise or hope of love
You’re gonna get hurt when you’re thinking of your life
And that story from the backseat of his car
From times judgement things were going too far
Too quick and rushing barely leaving a mark
Oh, it’s so hard to screech the tires when the car’s in park

Moment of clarity
You will never be that innocent girl you were to me
Cause you gave yourself away
He’ll never love
the things I did
About you

All the talks we’ve shared
I’m forced to ask where your standards went
Did you give up on life when you did on us?
Cause you’re not who you were

Cause when answered honestly
It’s a question that could break your heart

God showed of when he made such art

But you shamed his plan of fate and love
You shamed his plan of fate and love
Track Name: God
Let me out of the cage
Twenty years in here and nothing’s seemed to change
Why be placed waiting to be saved?
Who’d bathe me in disgrace as they send me on my way?

That doesn’t seem too heavenly to me
If life is a blessing then it can’t be the real thing
A safe room, neutral ground, a waiting place
Where there is right to go wrong
Unity to disintegrate

If truth’s a tube of translucent light
Carved and molded to infinite space and size
No chance for growth or going outside of it’s walls
At all
You’ll learn to the do the best with what you got
Drive all the flow to the center and don’t ever stop

I bet you’ll never get in deep enough

I’m losing faith in the war for trust
Believers in love paying no mind at all to lust
Willing to fight each other off for peace
Shatter their own reflections in hopes it kills the beast

Can’t fight the feeling my body’s a shell
And when I think about it not one part of me is my “self”
Take the the whole bunch, add it all up, still not enough
I need to find myself, deep inside myself

You are the basis for space and time
Make the choice, destroy all evidence and signs of it
And with closed eyes, walk straight lines, soon you’ll find
That you’re lost, but
Nothing before has ever more been okay
When there’s nothing to tell, there’s nothing left to say

Enjoy the world, not the way it’s explained

But as for me, I know he is
Track Name: Walk Walk
I walk walk walk down the street
Dragging my feet
The cars passing by I hear honking
I use my hand to block the wind
The other sparks the wick
Rolled earth between my lips starts working

But no matter what street sign
I’m not wandering from the path
My only hope to go where I wanna get

So it’s walk walk right down the road
Just dragging my toes
Though I’m not quite sure where it’s all going
Neighbors watch me stop and toke
Their staring as I choke
Can’t they see life’’s just one big joke unfolding?

Where people walk side by side
Round and round around the globe
Eyes down at the ground telling themselves they’re alone

If there was an easy way to do this
Then it would have been done by now
Imagine the difference
In the existence loop playing out
Side of my understanding
Till we finally find our wee out
And escape the cycle
Track Name: Inner Tension
Are you really done?
Or are you just scared of what might be
Buried underneath this tension still between
You and me?
Cause whether nothing’s there
Or there’s just to much to bare and face

Then ignoring this won’t make it all go away
No, you’re not fooling anybody

Summer
It always brings me back to when you loved me too
How I never told you that I was happy to do
Those leaps and tricks over sharp sticks and through flaming hoops
Cause at least I had you
But these days
I often spend my time at night lying away
And this history of yours and mine my mind replays
An endless pursuit of what to do or say
To mend my mistakes

I just can’t let this go
We were both supposed to grow so old
Together
Now all of my friends
Into each day’s end will say, “fold
Forget her”
But some things are easier said than done

(When you’re angry and pushing me away being)
(Malicious I always want to stay)
(Cause when you’re sleeping)
(You hold my arm so tight it shows you)
(Love me through spite)

Please don’t make me leave
(When you’re angry and pushing me away being)
Have you torn up your photos of me?
(Malicious I always want to stay)
I’m not ready to leave
(You hold my arm so tight I know)
You need me in the day light
Track Name: One Man's Trash
Darling
You used to pull me close
When you thought no one would notice us
Doing stuff
In the back of the
Room

I mean, baby
I miss your shining eyes
Your tendency to surprise me
By letting
Me in my way
In

Cause the whole time
I could see in your eyes how
In the back of your mind
You were waiting to go
But who’s feelings were you considering?
Not mine
Oh, how I’d like to know

Toria
I miss your judging stare
Your total lack of care for me. cause sweetie
Some how you felt like

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